20 ways to annoy FMA characters
by Sukiki-chan
Summary: Hooray! my first death list, I mean annoy list. Drakon will act these out at somepoint. rated T for mild language
1. The list of Doom

**Sukiki: This is my first how 2 annoy list and please no flames. I don't own Fullmetal alchemist. I not responsible for cuts, bruises, concussions, insineration and not living anymore.  
Drakon: FYI, I helped her.  
Sukiki: I love you Drakon-kin!!  
Drakon: Kill me please.**

**20 Ways to annoy FMA characters**

1. Edward in a room filled with tall people

2. Keep insisting that milk will help Edward grow

3. Ed/Roy Yaoi lemons. ^.^

4. Clog all of Riza's guns and watch them implode

5. Tell Armstrong that he scares small children

6. Tell Barry that he can't chop up anything for a month and take away his knives

7. In response to 6, watch him go INSANE!!!

8. Dump water on Mustang any time he uses alchemy

9. When he asks why, tell him that he is a fire hazard

10. Tell Edward that he has to be at least 5ft tall to use alchemy

11. Kill a cat in front of Al.(poor kitty T.T)

12. Beat the shit out of Havoc for saying that dogs are good food

13. Or better yet, have PETA do #12

14. Tell Gluttony that he is a fuckin' fat fatty

15. UNLEASH THE ENVY FANGIRLS!!!! Nuff said

16. Address Riza as the military whore

17. Keep insisting to everyone that Al is the state alchemist instead of Edward because he is tall enough to use alchemy

18. Address Greed as a man-whore(he's hot ta tah!)

19. Keep calling Edward short, sprout, pipsqueak etc

20. Tell the Elrics you know how to bring their mother back, make them do meaningless tasks (massages, growing taller, etc.) then tell them you lied and………RUN!!

**Drakon: I forsee myself acting out all of these.  
Sukiki: Yep!! Yay for blackmail.  
Drakon: Screw you bitch *goes to torture Sasuke*  
Sukiki: Whatever, she's acting all of these out. Review please, flames get sent to Drakon so she can kill you!!**


	2. The torture begins, 1 through 5

**Sukiki: Whoo!! Time for the folks of Full Metal Alchemist to suffer!!  
Drakon: Hey, you're not doing it since you fear for your life.  
Sukiki: Well, you're the one who could most likely survive the series, so you're doing it.  
Drakon: Fuck no!  
Sukiki: I'll burn your Deidara plushie.  
Drakon: ...fine.  
Sukiki: Disclaim please!  
Drakon:**** Sukiki doesn't own FMA (I wish I owned it) and she currently owns me since she threatened to burn my Deidara plushie. **

**Act it out! Full Metal Alchemist Torture**

**1. Lock Edward in a room filled with tall people.**

Today, Edward received a strange letter from a person named Drakon to meet him at the Devil's Nest in Dublith. Reluctantly he went to meet the woman, but when he got there a masked person ripped off his auto-mail arm and threw him into a dark room.

"I hope this isn't one of those fangirl rapes again." Said Edward as he got to his feet. He found a light switch, flipped it. He began screaming when he saw hundreds of tall people standing there and staring at him. Outside the door, the masked person was revealed to be a burnette girl wearing the male version army uniform. This person just so happened to have been Drakon. She pulled out a peice of paper, a list, and checked off the first item on it.

"Okay, 1 down, 19 to go." She then snickered to herself, and left Ed to his fate.

**2. Keep insisting to Edward that milk will help him grow**

Drakon had just learned of an interesting fact. Edward was hospitalized by major Armstrong during one of their greetings. Apparently, Ed wasn't built for heavy duty hugs. A few hours later, she arrived at the hospital where the Fullmetal alchemist was being held. Drakon found his room and took in the surroundings. Edward was lying in an ugly hospital bed, on the food tray everything was eaten except the milk and everything that was bland. Drakon picked up the glass of milk and said "Edward, drink your milk."

"HELL NO!!! I don't want to drink an opaque liquid secreted from a cow!!" shouted Edward.

"If you drink it you'll grow!!" Drakon retorted. Then Drakon got pissed and forced the milk down the alchemist's throat and left the room, smiling.

**3. Ed/Roy yaoi lemons ^.^**

Edward was checking out a this thing called 'website' that a random person told him about, and then gave him this thing called a 'netbook'. Well, he managed to figure out how it worked, and then put it up on this thing called the 'Internet'.  
"Ok, " murmured Edward as he typed in the URL. When he got to the site, he saw all sorts of pictures of him and Roy Mustang hugging, kissing and some other...things. There were also stories about the same things.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WEBSITE??!!" screamed Edward as he tried to smash the netbook. Tried, since he was somehow unsuccessful. His answer came as a whisper

"It is a yaoi fansite." Said the small voice. Take one guess whom that small voice was. Yep, it was Drakon, and she had managed to drag Roy himself with her. Well, in a nutshell, the Flame Alchemist's reaction was about the same as Ed's, but he tried to incinerate the little laptop. Drakon was just thanking every god she knew that she had gotten insurance on her netbook since Mustang had succeeded.

**4. Clog all of Riza's guns and watch them implode.**

Before Riza went to work this morning, someone silently snuck into her house and clogged all of her guns. But, she didn't know that, so she chose to hone her skills at Central's firing range. When she got to there, she noticed some brown-haired girl was sitting on a bench, acting bored. She gave the girl no though. Riza was preparing to fire, she pulled the trigger and…the gun blew up in her face. The brunette girl, who just so happened to have been Drakon, couldn't help but laugh hysterically at Riza's misfortune. Riza tried a different gun, it blew up, so did all of the other guns she used.

"What's going on here?" asked Riza. Then she noticed the dark-haired girl trying to get out of the training area. She grabbed an unused firearm and aimed it at her. It just so happened to have been the one gun Drakon forgot to clog that morning. Well...at least Drakon is a very fast runner.

**5. Tell Armstrong that he scares small children**

Major Armstrong was making his way to central command after his daily workout of lifting 200-pound weights 200 times. _Hopefully the Elric brothers have found more information about the Philosophers stone_. He thought. Just as he was rounding the corner of a building, he nearly ran into a girl wearing a headband with little yellow ears on it, blue jeans and a t-shirt with a deranged green bear holding a grenade on it.

"Terribly sorry miss" said Armstrong and that was when the girl started screaming, very shrilly. _Crap!! _

"Shhh. it's ok." Armstrong threw off his shirt, revealing the huge muscles on his chest and arms

"See, I'm just a normal person haha." Upon seeing the huge muscles, the girl screamed louder. Drakon instantaneously appeared next to the screaming girl.

"Armstrong, how dare you scare this child!!!" yelled Drakon.

"I-I'm sorry young miss for-"

"Shut up and go do your FUCKIN' JOB!!" Armstrong backed away slowly from Drakon and ran the other way. The girl looked at Drakon and asked

"You do know that I'm older than you, right?" Drakon patted her apparent buddy on the back.

"Of course I do Sparky but I had to use you to freak out Major Armstrong a bit." Answered Drakon, pulling out a cookie.

"Here you get a cookie."

"YAY!" squealed Sparky who proceeded to devour the cookie.

**Drakon: How did you get Sparky to do that?  
Sukiki: Oh, I bribed her with your L plushie.  
Drakon: WHAT!?  
Sukiki: *tases older sister* Anyway, please review.**


End file.
